Love's Little Wonders

This morning was like most mornings in our house. I got up when the baby cried and fed him while I pumped. Jeff was up getting ready for work. After he had gotten ready, he came into the living room and asked if he could feed the baby for me. So, he took our son into his arms and fed him. Kaden has become quite the busy baby and this morning he did his usual things like trying to eat his burp cloth, trying to "help" Daddy hold the bottle (which usually results in him swatting it out of his mouth), rubbing his eyes incessantly, kicking his legs, etc. All of these things culminated into Jeff having to hold the baby's limbs so he could eat. I was watching this unfold while storing breast milk to freeze, so I had the perfect discreet view of my little family. After Kaden finished eating, Jeff just sat and held him, trying not to fall asleep while the baby cooed and gawked at his own hands. 

After a while, I asked Jeff if he'd be willing to change the baby's diaper and he willingly agreed to. As usual, Kaden's sock had fallen off while he was sleeping, so Jeff grabbed the sock but instead of holding onto it himself while he walked into the nursery, he asked Kaden if he would hold his sock. Jeff knows that even though Kaden is only 11 weeks old, just this week he started to really grasp onto things and enjoys holding them in his hands. So being the patient and sweet daddy that he is, Jeff let Kaden hold his own sock as he took Kaden to the nursery.

Watching my husband and son together this morning, in their seemingly small interactions, made my heart feel like it was going to burst with love and joy. Jeff is the most amazing daddy to our son. He spends quality time with him every day, actually interacting with him and talking to him. He loves Kaden with all of his heart and he's not afraid to show it. 

For Father's Day, I gave Jeff a card that said something like "one of the reasons I fell in love with you was because I knew you'd be an amazing father." I picked that card because those words were true. When Jeff and I were dating, I saw the way he interacted with my nieces and nephews, how much he adored them even though they weren't his own family (yet), and I just knew that he would be the best Dad in the world. I knew that he would love our children fiercely, that he would be there for them and interact with them each day. I knew that he would be patient with them and that he would adore them. I knew that he would encourage our children to chase after their dreams and participate in activities that they enjoy. 

I also knew that he would actively help me each day, whether by taking out the garbage, changing a diaper, running to the grocery store, or folding laundry. I knew that he would find some seemingly small task to do that would help me immensely. And the reason why he would do these things was because he loves our child and he loves me. 

So this morning, even though it was an ordinary morning, I have felt a surge of love and respect for my husband as I watched him be a father to our son. And this is only one of the many times I have felt an increase of love for Jeff since our son was born. I feel like I am the luckiest woman alive. While watching them, the song "Little Wonders" by Matchbox 20 came into my mind.

"Our lives are made in these small hours

These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate.

Time falls away but these small hours

These small hours still remain."

I feel so incredibly blessed to be married to my wonderful husband. He is a fantastic father to our son and that makes me love him all the more.

Doing That Thing You Do...

Kaden, there are lots of little things that you do at this stage in your life that I never want to forget because I Iove them so much. So I've decided to make a list and share some of my favorite pictures of you at this stage too. 

When you are stretching, you arch your back, put you hands in fists up by your face, purse your lips, and wrinkle your forehead. It is the cutest thing. 

When you make cooing noises while you eat. 

When you let out a little cry in your sleep. It's way sad, but super adorable. 

When you calm down if we ride in the car or go outside. 

When you look at the picture of Jesus in your room and smile at and talk to Him. 

When you become transfixed with mine and your daddy's wedding pictures. It seems like you recognize that day, like you were there with us. 

When you hold on to the bottle with one or both hands while you're eating. 

When you calm down as I sing "You are my Sunshine."

When you grasp my finger in your tiny little hand. Or in this case, your grandma GG's hand. 

When you keep sucking, making quick tongue movements, when I take the bottle out of your mouth. 

When you fall asleep with your eyes half open. (This picture is not meant to show that).

When you play "karate kid" because you're so excited while I'm trying to get the bottle in your mouth. You get both arms up by your face and block the bottle from coming to your mouth. Sometimes it's maddening, but it's really funny too. 

When you snore in your sleep.

When you try to eat your burp cloth, fingers, blanket, or my arm.  

When you smile at or talk to me. 

Sometimes you will only calm down when I bounce you in my arms and say repeatedly, "you're okay, yes you are." I don't know why you respond to that, but you seem to like it. 

When you fall asleep on Daddy. That has to be one of the sweetest things in the world. 

When you do your half coo, half cry noise. 

When you are instantly happy if I put you on your changing table. 

When you smile if I ask, "where's your fingers (or toes or face) while I'm changing you and smile even bigger when I say, "there they are!"

When you squak or squeak. 

These are just a few of my favorite things that you do. You are my precious baby. Even on hard/difficult days, you enrich my life and make my heart sing. You make me want to be a better woman, even though you might not know the difference. I love you with all my heart Kaden!

Kaden's birth announcements

Stationery Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Gratitude in the midst of trials

Since I hit about 32 weeks of pregnancy, I began to have symptoms that started out as small but have only gotten worse and more intense. Needless to say, I have been more and more uncomfortable by the day in the last month. I have tried to remain positive and happy, but some days it seems nearly impossible. 

I should mention that almost 3 of the weeks in the last month and a half, my husband, Jeff, has been in VA for training for the new job he just got. I am and have been extremely proud of him for getting this job and for all the hard work and humility he has had to demonstrate to get to where he is. However, it was difficult to be apart from my best friend and my companion and to be going through such difficult times myself. 

On top of Jeff being gone, I have also had cause for concern as his back has been killing him for the last two months. He has only been getting around 4-6 hours of sleep every night, and Jeff is one of those people who needs his sleep. I have felt like he has been doing everything in his power to feel better, but nothing has helped. 

To be frank, these last two months have been extremely hard and frustrating. Oftentimes I have wondered why Heavenly Father was allowing my husband and I to be tried so hard. Like Joseph Smith, I have often found myself wondering, "Oh God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:1). I am sure it probably seems blasphemous to compare my trials with Joseph Smith's, but I haven't been able to refrain from echoing his words in my mind from time to time. 

After feeling like Jeff and I had done everything we could possibly think of for his back, I decided that we needed to turn more fully to the Lord and beg Him for help and guidance. We did so and felt like we got some answers through other people (which is so often how Heavenly Father answers His children's prayers). We have yet to see the outcome of this trial. 

And yet, while I was lying in bed tonight, I had several thoughts pop into my head. First, I realized what a great life I have. While realizing this, the words to a hymn popped into my head:

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings; name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly,

And you will be singing as the days go by.

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged; God is over all.

Count your many blessings; angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

(Count Your Blessings, Hymn 241). 

I am super blessed. I have a wonderful, sweet, caring, kind, sensitive, and loving husband, who, while he is struggling himself, insists on doing things for me each day like rub my pained feet and hands, do the dishes, watch my favorite tv shows with me, read materials about becoming a parent, and the list goes on. What an incredible example Jeff is to me of charity, selflessness, patience, long suffering, and love. How lucky am I?! I couldn't have married a more amazing man than Jeffrey Lane Shurtliff. 

Even though I am in lots of pain and feel discomfort almost constantly, I know there are women who wish they were in my position, but aren't. I know that this baby growing inside of me is a miracle, one that should not be taken forgranted by me. There are women who want so badly to have a baby inside their womb, but for some reason can't. My heart aches for women who have to go through that heartbreak. And my prayers are that someday, in some way, they will be able to be parents. 

Second, even though there are times that I wish I could just be done being pregnant, I need to enjoy and be grateful for the time of life that I'm in right now. President Thomas S. Monson said it best: 

"Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows."

What simple, yet profound wisdom! 

I know that when my baby is born, I will love having him here. And yet, I also know that I will miss feeling him kick and squirm inside of me. So, as this last month of pregnancy unfolds, I challenge myself to enjoy it more fully. 

Third, our trials can help us to draw closer to our Father in Heaven. While in the middle of a trial, it is easy to turn away from God and harden our hearts toward Him. It is easy to be discouraged and feel downtrodden. It is easy to feel abandoned and alone. However, God is anxiously waiting for us to reach out to Him and ask for His help. He wants to comfort us and lift us up, but we ultimately have to ask for His help. 

I am so grateful that God allows me to go through certain trials so that I can remember how wonderful my life is, to find joy in the journey, and to turn to Him and ask for guidance. I truly believe that He knows each of us individually and He loves each of us individually. We are never truly alone because He is always there for us, waiting to help and bless us. 

My heart is still in the Oklahoma Tulsa mission...

I wrote the following entry in my phone on December 16 and forgot to post it before Christmas.  So I apologize that this post is a little behind, but I think it still applies. 

It is this time of year, more than any other time, that causes me to think back and reflect for hours on the time I spent in the OTM (Oklahoma Tulsa mission).  Maybe because the spirit of Christ was so real and alive during the two Christmases I spent there in Rolla, Missouri and Henryetta, Oklahoma.  

The sights, smells, smiles, and loving acts of kindness all come flooding back to me.  More importantly, the people I met in every area I served (Rolla and Nevada, Missouri; Henryetta, Oklahoma; and Fayetteville, Arkansas) have forever changed my life.  These people lovingly served their fellow men (and women), including me and my companions.  Their examples of faith, fortitude, charity, patience, and kindness will forever be branded in my mind and engraved upon my heart. 

It is this time of year, more than any other time, that I feel my heart go back to my mission, to the places and people that will always be my home away from home.  

I wish I could post every picture of my mission, but I can't.  These are just a few of the many people who have changed my life forever. 

My trainer, Sister Kunzler and I at Zone Conference (when we weren't
companions, I don't have pics of my first area on my computer yet).
I spent my first Christmas with her in Rolla, MO.

Andrea Reveal, Sister Nokes, Me, Evelyn, and David Celaya
in Nevada, MO.  Sister Howard was taking the picture.

Sister Corrow, Me, and Sister Stiles with Michael Cook and his boys.
Brother Cook is one of the most Christlike men I know.

Me, Sister Harker, and Sister Moore with Pam and Sherman Leeth.
This was a special day as Sherman got to baptize his wife. They are
one of the most amazing couples I know.

Me and Sister Cluff with Cassie and Kimberly Hage at Cassie's
baptism. Cassie and Kimberly are both very sweet and loving girls.

Me with Tiffany Beccera-Hernandez. She is such an amazing
wife and mother who truly loves God and Jesus Christ.

Brother Decker and Eddie Fish with me and my companions
at Eddie's baptism. What a joyous occasion that was!

My companions, Sister DeCoursey and Stiles with Dona Flanagan
on her baptism day. We witnessed a miracle!

Sister Roberts and I with Erika Maru.  I only got to teach one
lesson to her, but wanted a picture with her because she was so
amazing.  After my mission, I saw her walking into the Provo
UT temple.  What an incredible experience that was.

And last, but certainly not least, my companions and I with the
DeWitt family. Mike and Charlene always made me feel like I was
part of their family and always welcomed my companions and I into
their home. They are some of the most Christlike, humble people I
know.

Gender Reveal: It's a...

October 23, 2013 was a day that changed my life entirely. It was the day that Jeff and I found out the gender of our baby.  I was TERRIFIED of this appointment.  I know that sounds ridiculous, but I was.  We were paying extra money to find out the gender before 20 weeks.  I was scared that the baby would cross his/her legs and the technician wouldn't be able to tell if it was a boy or a girl.  If that happened, we would obviously be wasting our money, which brought me a lot of anxiety to think about.  I was told by my OB and some family members to eat chocolate or drink OJ before the appointment, so you better believe I was eating chocolate covered almonds and Dove dark chocolate in the car on the way.  

When we got to the OB office, the waiting room was noisy and chaotic with 3 other families there who had at least two kids each.  The TV was turned on and "The Emperor's New Groove" was playing.  Jeff and I love that movie, so that helped distract me a little.

                                      
                                          Jeff and I waiting in the waiting room of the OB office

We waited for over forty-five torturous minutes.  I thought our turn would never come. Thankfully, of course, it did come (finally!).  A middle-aged, kind-looking technician named Robin called my name ("Whitney Shurtliff," which is still weird to hear) and took us to the Ultrasound room.  I got up on the table and she put warm "goo" all over my belly.  She asked us if this was our first child and got really excited when we said it was. She then proceeded and almost immediately we saw our baby up on the monitor.  She first showed us the baby's profile, outlining where the spine was.  Then we got to see the baby's heartbeat and foot.  Then she found another image and asked Jeff if he knew what it was. He said he thought he did (and of course I felt frustrated because I had no clue what they were talking about) and she told us we were having a baby boy! She said she was 100% positive (which gave me great relief) and pointed out that the image we were looking at was his area.  

There's our little baby!

At this point, I was honestly floored.  I had thought for sure that we were having a girl, as did Jeff! Then I remembered these little moments throughout the week when I had the feeling that the baby inside of me was a boy.  Jeff and I had bought boys and girls outfits and were looking at them the night before our appointment and I remember holding a pair of boys pajamas and thinking "we're having a boy." I also remembered asking Jeff throughout the week and while we were waiting in the waiting room what he thought we were having.  He always said he could see us having either, but he thought it was a girl. When he asked me the same question, I remember telling him I thought it was a boy, which felt so weird to say because for so long I was convinced we were having a girl.  

I think Heavenly Father was trying to subtly introduce the idea of having a boy to me (I have noticed that He does that to me sometimes, almost as if to help me get used something before it actually happens). But for some reason, deep down, I was still convinced we were having a girl. Let me make clear that I was not in any way disappointed we were having a boy.  I was just completely shocked! 

When our appointment was over, we drove to Burger Supreme and got dinner in their drive thru, then drove to my parents house to tell them the great news.  We came up with the very simple idea of letting our parents open a gender neutral gift bag (silver with yellow tissue paper) with clothing for our baby.  So my mom pulled out the pair of baby boy pajamas that I mentioned before.  My mom and dad were both very, very excited and happy for us.  We celebrated by going to The Sweet Tooth Fairy for dessert.  I sent a text to my siblings and their spouses letting them know we were having a baby boy and their responses were quite comical.  Both of my sisters responded saying, "I knew it!!!" since they had guessed our baby would be a boy.  My sister-in-law told us that she had my nephew Landon (who's 8) read my text out loud and after reading that we were having a boy, he pumped his fist in the air (he also had guessed that we would be having a boy).  

After being with my parents, we were able to go over to Jeff's parents' house.  We were talked to Jeff's little brother, Easton, and his girlfriend while we waited for his parents to get there.  When they got home, we had Jeff's dad open the present.  When he pulled out the pajamas, Jeff's mom exclaimed, "I knew it!" Everyone looked at her confused...the only person who had guessed it was a boy in Jeff's family was Jeff's dad, haha.  They were elated.  I texted Jeff's sister to tell her the news and she was overjoyed.  She has been the most openly excited (posting statuses on Facebook saying that she couldn't wait to be an aunt, etc) since before we even announced we were pregnant. We are so grateful to have such amazing families and happy that our little boy will be loved so much. 

At first, I was really scared to have a baby boy.  I have 5 nieces and 3 nephews, but two of the nephews are still babies, so I don't feel like I've had much experience with boys. However, I am excited that our son will have two boy cousins who are so close in age to him.  Jeff and I feel like they will all be great friends.  I feel very lucky to have a sister and sister-in-law who will be able to help me with the things that I have no clue about. And my sister who doesn't have a boy is already a great help to me, so I feel confident since I have such a great support system.  Don't get me wrong, most days I am still scared to death to be a mom, but I also feel so grateful and humbled to have the opportunity to be one.  I can't wait for the little guy to get here!

YAY!!!!

To My Baby

My dear sweet baby,

Before I even found out I was pregnant with you, ok, let me be completely honest, before I was even married to your daddy, I dreamed of what it would be like to have my very own baby. I dreamed about the little things like looking into your eyes, seeing you smile, or hearing you cry for the first time. I wondered what you would look like (and still do). Would you have blue eyes or brown hair like me? Now that I'm married to your daddy and actually pregnant with you, I still wonder those things, but also wonder if you will have the deep brown Shurtliff eyes or if you'll have Daddy's sweet disposition (which I actually really hope you do). 

I am now 17 weeks pregnant with you, which means that I only have 23 more weeks to go! Time is going by so fast, it seems like you'll be here in no time. Your daddy and I get to find out if you are a boy or a girl in 3 days. We couldn't be more excited. There are moments when I am almost certain you are a girl, like when we're around your girl cousins. But then I have moments when I see an outfit for a baby boy or hear a cute boy name when I am convinced you are a boy. 

Daddy and I have two names that we are absolutely in love with if you are a girl. But if you're a boy, we'll have to agree on one that we love. I have been compiling lists of baby names since I can remember. I had a big, long list on my phone when I met your daddy. I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy, but I like to keep an open mind. One night while discussing baby names, Daddy and I realized that I like lots of British and American names, whereas Daddy mostly just likes American names. We had a good laugh about that. 

I have loved being able to hear your heartbeat when I go to the doctor, but I just can't wait to see what you look like on Wednesday. I know that no matter if you are a boy or girl, your daddy and I will love you fiercely. Oh, and so you know, we don't really care if you are a boy or a girl. A lot of people really want one or the other, but honestly, we are just so excited to have you that we don't really have a preference. 

Grandpa Shurtliff is convinced that you are a boy (we even bet dinner on it). The rest of the Shurtliff family is convinced you are a girl. Easton even talks about you using female pronouns. Grandpa Day said he hasn't really thought about what you are (I know that he will be happy either way). Grandma Day thinks you are a girl. If I remember correctly, your aunt Tara, Ashley, and Michelle, as well as Landon and Olivia all think you are going to be a boy. 

Whatever you are, we know that Heavenly Father is sending us one of His precious children to take care of and that He is sending you to us for a reason. I feel so humbled to be your mommy. I'll be honest, when I first found out you were coming I was scared to death. I still have my moments when I am scared, but I am more excited than anything now. I haven't even seen or held you yet, but I already love you so much. You are a lucky baby because you are coming into a very loving family. You are the first grandchild to be born into the Shurtliff family, so your grandparents and aunt and uncles are very excited to meet you. You are the ninth grandchild to come into the Day family, which is pretty neat because you will have lots of cousins who will love you and want to play with you. Your grandparents and aunts and uncles are also extremely excited to have you in the family. In fact, Grandpa Day once said that it was time we had a Shurtliff baby in the family. Your entire family (immediate and extended) are excited for your arrival. In the meantime, we are thrilled we get to find out if you are a boy or a girl this week! 

I love you sooo much!

Eight months and our growing family

Eight months ago today, on a sunny but cold day in February, I entered the Mt. Timpanogos temple and was married and sealed to my best friend and the man of my dreams. 

The choice I made that day was the best choice I've ever made, one that has forever changed my life.  Jeff is the most amazing husband.  He is the most caring, selfless, loving, and sweet man I know.  Since I have known Jeff, I have experienced the greatest joy.  Dating him was easy, natural, and fun.  Being married to him has been the same: easy, natural, and fun. 

Now, I will say that marriage isn't always easy.  Moving from the home I have known and loved the last 26 years of my life, to a brand new city that I never dreamed of living in has definitely been (and still is) an adjustment for me.  But I think it has been good for Jeff and I to live in a completely separate place than our families.  Doing so has really helped us to "leave, cleave, and become one" (Genesis 2:24).  

One of the many things that I love about Jeff is his capacity to love.  He is always concerned about me and wants to help me in any way that he can.  He is very much a hands-on husband and is always taking out the garbage, doing the dishes, taking care of our dog, and vacuuming (just to name a few).  I always wanted a husband who would be just like Jeff and I feel immensely blessed to be married to him.  

Unlike many men that I know, Jeff views communication as a very important part of marriage.  He always talks to me about work, band practice, finances, hopes and dreams, and our future together.  He asks me about my day and listens intently, even to the littlest of details.  He is willing to be honest with me about his feelings and is willing to be as vulnerable as I am in our relationship.  

Jeff treats me like a queen and always makes me feel like I am his equal and never inferior to him in any way.  He respects me and does little things that make a world of difference in my life (for example, leaving me love notes on our table, buying me flowers and chocolate, running to Walgreens or an ice cream shop, etc).  He is so Christlike and is always teaching me by his example.  Jeff truly is the best husband I could've ever asked for. 

Since Jeff and I got married at an older age (by LDS standards), we wanted to start a family almost right away.  At first, we said we'd wait a year before trying to conceive, but after a month or two, we decided we were ready.  After trying for a few months (and thinking I was prego one or two times before we even started), and reading everything I could about trying to conceive I started to become discouraged.  I prayed every night to get pregnant and asked what I could do to help.  

After praying every night (and throughout the day) for few weeks, I decided that Heavenly Father wanted me to lose some weight before getting pregnant.  So I started to exercise and eat healthier, but the pounds weren't coming off and I became even more discouraged.  I decided to completely put it in the Lord's hands, but still do everything I could think of in the mean time.  

One Saturday, Jeff and I decided to go out to dinner at Carrabba's since we had received a giftcard there for a wedding present and had never been there.  We got there around 4:30 or 5 pm and I was feeling weird because I hadn't eaten lunch.  I had this fluttery feeling in my stomach that felt like butterflies, but not the good kind of butterflies.  We enjoyed our food there and especially enjoyed our time together.  I kept feeling weird, even after eating dinner.  The next morning, I had this thought that I should get out of bed and go take a pregnancy test.  I had had that thought/feeling before and had negative results, so I was completely convinced that the test would be negative...but I took it and for the first time had a positive result! So, I took a second test, and again, had a positive result! 

Earlier I had made Jeff a promise that I would tell him I was pregnant as soon as I found out, so I hurried out of the bathroom with the tests in hand and stammered, "I'm pregnant!" I hugged Jeff, but then realized he wasn't sure what I'd said, so he stopped to look at the tests himself and said, "Wait, you said you ARE pregnant?" To which I responded, "Yes!" And of course, there was much rejoicing and shock! 

After much discussion, Jeff and I decided that we wanted to tell our immediate families before I was 12 weeks pregnant.  We felt that my birthday celebrations with each family was the perfect time to tell everyone because we would already be together with everyone and we wouldn't be stealing the limelight from anyone since it was my birthday being celebrated.  

For Jeff's family, we decided that since they love our dog so much, we would tell them using him.  We found a doggy shirt online and had him wear it into the house.  

Everyone's reactions were priceless.  They obviously had never seen his shirt before, so Jeff's dad kept asking what was on Bronx's shirt and Jeff's sister asked if it meant something.  We finally told them that I was pregnant and they were beyond excited.  This will be the first grandchild in the Shurtliff family, so this news was very special for everyone.  

For my family, we wanted to do something simple, but fun for the grandkids.  So we went and got 6 balloons (3 blue, 3 pink) and tied the white mystery Airheads to the ribbon on the balloons, since the sex of our baby was still a mystery.  There was some confusion as to why I would be bringing balloons to my own birthday party, but once everyone got it they were very excited.  Our baby will be the ninth grandchild in the Day family, but Jeff and I feel like even though there are eight grandchildren already, ours will still be treated as special and will be extremely loved (by adults and children).  I neglected to get a picture taken with the balloons, but here is a picture of us at my family's party for me.

After 8 weeks of trying to wait patiently, we were able to go to our first OBGYN appointment and see our baby and its heartbeat for the first time.  It was a special experience to see the tiny baby inside of me.  That being said, I'll be honest:  I couldn't see the heartbeat.  I felt like such a horrible future mother and kept having flashbacks to the episode of Friends when Rachel can't see her baby and starts to cry in the OB office.  Thankfully, I managed not to cry, but still felt sad that I couldn't see the heartbeat.  But Jeff saw it and thought it was the most amazing thing, so that made me happy. 

The next OB appointment that we had was much more special for me.  We were able to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time.  It was so surreal to me that the fast heartbeat we were hearing was actually our baby's heartbeat.  Even though we didn't get to see the baby, hearing his/her heartbeat and knowing that it was strong and seemed to be healthy made me very excited and happy. 

We are extremely excited to find out the sex of our baby soon.  Jeff and I both have no idea if it will be a boy or a girl, but kinda feel like it will be a girl (sometimes).  Jeff's dad is adamant that it will be a boy, but the rest of Jeff's family thinks it will be a girl.  My family is split, some thinking it will be a boy, some a girl.  Whether it is a boy or girl, I do know that our baby will be extremely loved.  I still get scared from time to time (more often than not) with feelings of inadequacy and unpreparedness, but I've heard that, just like marriage, you are never really 100% ready to have a baby.  The great thing is, Jeff and I are in this together, no matter what.  I can't imagine having children with any other man than him.  Also, we both have wonderful parents and siblings who will be willing to help in any way that they can.  We are beyond excited for this new adventure and our growing family.